SYNOPSIS: William Henry Bartholomew Smith knows a thing or two about value. Why have a dentist fix a chipped tooth if you can do it yourself with super glue? But when you can't wipe away the excess glue because your paper towels won't tear right, you've got yourself a serious problem. (Really, who in their right mind would want to put an asymmetrical piece of paper towel in their mouth?) But after confrontations at the retail and corporate levels don't work out as planned, William Henry Bartholomew Smith is forced to propose a truly drastic measure, one so ill-considered that it will leave your audience laughing in disbelief.