SYNOPSIS: Hold on to your hats, the venom-spewing actress Lulu LaGroux is in town and she’s spittin’ mad, madder than usual! The critics have declared her latest film a disaster, igniting rumors of her long-overdue retirement. "I shall act until the day I die! As for critics, they’re in the same league as doctors: pond scum!" To make matters worse, her agent, the timid Maurice Ambrose, has gotten them stranded in a backwater town by wrecking their car and killing a farmer’s prize heifer in the process.While their car gets repaired, they stop in at Eddie’s Café. There, Lulu is hounded by the press, gawked at by townsfolk who thought she was long dead, wounded by a manicurist, almost poisoned with cranberries, and finally stuffed into a meat locker to save her wrinkled hide. Through all this she has to endure spontaneous auditions by acting hopefuls and the playful barbs of Ziggy, a waiter who will stop at nothing to knock the despicable and demanding Lulu off her crumbling pedestal.Add to this mad concoction a lop-sided love triangle, a shot-gun totin’ farmer out for blood, a love-struck mortician, a mixed-up fortune teller, and you’ve got a recipe for laughter dished up by the saucy staff and crazy customers at Eddie’s Cafe.This is a frantically-paced farce packed full of eccentric characters and enough hoodoos and hoodwinks to make everyone’s head spin, but all comes out right in the end as the curtain falls on this madcap comedy of errors. NOTE: This play could be performed as part of a dinner theater/fundraiser.